Who needs a man?
by Meloniati
Summary: Harley is left all alone on Valentines Day, who can lift her spirit?
1. heart of acid

"awww Puddin why you gotta do this, out of all days why today?" Harley sat on some garbage bags in an alleyway of Gotham city, her pigtails ratted up she was wearing her red see through nighty with black and red lace lingerie underneath, the bottom of her nighty was singed and she reeked of a chemical disaster.

"why is it always the acid puddin? c'mon it's Valentine's Day Puddin" Harley has only tried to make a romantic gesture by decorating the joker's cell in rose petals and wine bottles. The joker however did not find this in anyway romantic and with a quick snatch she was hanging over a vat of boiling acid

"Pumkin-Pie what did i say about valentine's day?" the joker smirked and caressed Harleys cheek softly before slapping her "NO VALENTINES GIFTS" he roared.

"I love it when you're feisty Puddin" harley mumbled whilst seeing a galaxy of stars and spitting teeth into the boiling acid that she was being lowered into, the ends of her nighty was beginning to dip into the acid and fear began to seep deep within her sky blue eyes, but just before she was fully dunked into the acid she was stopped.

"go, run away before i change my mind. it's too easy killing you this way"

"wh-what, mista J?" Harley questioned her voice was quivering with a cocktail of confusion and fear.

"LEAVE, BE GONE, POOF, GO!" the joker yelled as he walked away through a rotten wooden doorway, leaving Harley to escape the vat of acid.

"well this just stinks" whined harley as she struggled to get out of the chains that held her over the acid, once she finally removed the chains she managed to do a manoeuvre a quick somersault letting her avoid contact with the acid. She felt proud of the stunt she just pulled but her pride was dampened by the joke mr J had pulled on her.

"well this is just the worst, I suck at mista J's jokes, it was just a few rose petals." she stood for a minute in thought trying to count just how many rose petals flooded mr J's room before slowly walking out of the room with her head down low.

"i guess i'll be spendin Valentine's day all by my lonesome huh?


	2. Let's hit the town

"single? Who needs those pesky men, they'd just get in the way of my babies" Poison Ivy pondered in her greenhouse paying close attention to each and every one of her green babies. Her hands gently caressed and soothed the plants as she roamed around her green kingdom. Her vines could sense that someone was in her eco sanctuary, she had snuck in through the broken window in the corner Ivy knew she should have gotten that fixed a while ago "now i have rodents" she thought to herself, but she would never say that out loud to her intruder, she's seen her rage and she would prefer if that rage was not aimed at her. Instead she decided to be a tad playful with her new hidden guest.

"aww is kitty lonely this valentine's?" Ivy smirked, she could almost feel the annoyance of her fellow female friend through the vines and trees surrounding her.

knowing that their was no point in hiding she huffed "my names not kitty" a dark figure emerged from the twisted vines and trees her black leather whip attached to her hip.

"with that outfit how on earth could you be lonely?" Catwoman ignored the remark as nothing less than joke to work her up, but Ivy never really understood how one girl could manage to pull off that much latex and still breathe in it, how can she not be sweating all the time?

"so how did you know i was here?" Catwoman questioned, she took pride in her ability to sneak up on unsuspecting people, it always annoyed her when Ivy could pinpoint her location most of the time.

"my babies told me" Ivy found it almost cute how annoyed she got about being found, like a toddler playing hide and seek

"tell your babies to shut their mouths…" Catwoman mumbled under her breath with frustration

Ivy always disliked how Catwoman spoke to her babies "plants don't have mouths, kitty, id thought you'd know that, maybe that skin tight suit is swishing that precious brain of yours" Ivy hissed

"no need for that, i just came here to ask you if u wanted to hit the town... perhaps catch ourselves a bat?" she was far too pent up all by herself she needed to cause some mayhem on Gotham.

The idea of capturing the Batman for a fun Valentines night captured her attention of corce she was gonna cause mayhem on Gotham, they killed some poor innocent plants the other day and wanted revenge. But because this was Catwoman and Ivy loved to see how much she can play around with her, she gave a little smirk "take me out to dinner first, so little respect"

"so into town it is?" said Catwoman who was already strutting towards the door of the greenhouse

"we'll try and find harls, I'm sure she'd love to catch the Batman" suggested Ivy, Harley was alway a tricky one to find she's always up to something and its most likely illegal


End file.
